Thursday, 31 March 2011

Stuff White People Like But This Brown Man Can't Stand #4: Unfunny jokes about former enemies of the U.S. when they experience national tragedies

The Japanese earthquake/tsunami/nuclear radiation crisis is useful in that it shows us which celebrities and politicians stupidly pronounce it as 'nucular.'
Joan Rivers defended Gilbert Gottfried's controversial Twitter jokes about the disaster-stricken Japanese by saying comedians cope with tragedy through humor and then using her plastic-and-adamantium-coated face as a shield to protect Gottfried from the bullets from his angriest critics. I'm all for using humor to cope with tragedy, but when someone uses it to slam the victims of a terrible situation like Gottfried, Family Guy writer Alec Sulkin, several conservatards and countless others on Twitter did, it's not funny at all.

I appreciate how The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and my favorite new podcast Sklarbro Country handled the disaster in Japan and managed to find humor in the situation without veering into anti-Asian racism. Stephen Colbert came up with the funniest bit of disaster-related humor when he described the earthquake/tsunami/radiation crisis as a "disaster-ducken."

'Henderson!'
Meanwhile, the Sklar Brothers, whose hilarious podcast pokes fun at the often odd and insane behavior of sports celebrities, elbowed New York Liberty guard Cappie Poindexter in the face for her moronic tweets about the disaster being God's payback for Pearl Harbor and the way Japan treats their own people in "there" country.

"That's who we want commenting on this disaster. A guard from the WNBA. Yeah, we don't wanna hear from the head of the Red Cross or anybody from the State Department. We wanna hear from a women's professional basketball player," joked Randy and Jason, who were so appalled by Poindexter's tweets that they resurrected their discontinued "Douchebag of the Week" segment and picked "the Alexandra Wallace of the WNBA" as the segment's first-ever female douchebag, or "Douchebaguette of the Week."

"Now is not the time to blame Japan for anything, even Sudoku," said the twin brothers. "Leave them alone!"

The new Warhol-inspired Secret Identities logo
Now is the time to help Japan, so I've taken part in the SIUniverse for Japan online auction to support GlobalGiving's Japan relief fund. For the next few weeks, fans of the 2009 graphic novel Secret Identities: The Asian American Superhero Anthology can bid on artwork and other items donated by Secret Identities artists and writers like myself.

I've donated a couple of pieces of artwork that will be up for bid. One of the items is a poster of an illustration of Hideaki Akaiwa, an ordinary office worker in Miyagi prefecture who was named "Badass of the Week" for refusing to wait around for rescue workers and venturing out on his own with scuba gear and duct-taped-together plastic wrapped around his legs to rescue tsunami survivors like his wife.

When I first heard about this badass, I kept thinking, "Damn, this is like a real-life Sea Hunt," as in that old TV show I've never watched but I'm familiar with from the "By this time, my lungs were aching for air" running gag during Mystery Science Theater 3000's Lloyd Bridges/Rocketship X-M episode and Bridges' own spoof of his old show during Hot Shots! Part Deux. I Googled Sea Hunt, stumbled into old covers from the comic book version of Sea Hunt and drew for the auction a sketch of Akaiwa that I modeled after those covers.

By this time, his lungs were aching for air.

Office worker and bad muthasava Hideaki Akaiwa
Like Akaiwa has done for his family members and neighbors, go lend a hand to the disaster victims now.

APRIL 9, 2011 UPDATE: Here's my illustration of Akaiwa, entitled "Hideaki Akaiwa: A Real Life Superhero," which is now up for bid. It's a 20" x 24" poster that's printed on heavyweight coated paper.

Fuck Steven Seagal. Hideaki Akaiwa is a more convincing action hero.

APRIL 17, 2011 UPDATE: Sold! To Gary in Arlington, VA!

APRIL 21, 2011 UPDATE: The other item I donated to the auction is an illustration of Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle that I did for my upcoming self-published print compilation of the most responded-to posts from this blog. The title of the book--and this is the first time I've posted the title here--is I Suck at Math: A Trio of 10 Articles About Pop Culture.

Kal Penn and John Cho laugh their asses off over Joseph Fiennes' attempt at an American accent while watching Cho's short-lived TV show FlashForward.
My Harold & Kumar drawing is a 14" x 23" poster that's printed on heavyweight coated paper. It's now up for bid.

MAY 10, 2011 UPDATE: Sold! To Quentin in Concord, NH!

For Want of a Screw...


Readers, believe me when I tell you that yesterday at this time I had never heard of a loop guard, let alone a loop guard screw.  But life is about learning, friends, and if we're open to it, knowledge will come our way, no matter how arcane and (arguably) trivial.

Today's post will have primarily wonk appeal so, apologies.   I should state immediately that the screw pictured above is not Singer Featherweight part #200145, the aforementioned loop guard screw (I'm sure some of you knew that already).  But I couldn't find a good picture of #200145.  Sometimes you need Troy Donahue but you have to settle for Tab Hunter -- or is it the other way around?

Long story short: I worked a bit on my Featherweight yesterday.  Quick recap: I bought this machine on eBay and paid what I would consider a low-end price, though sadly not bargain basement.  I've seen them at the flea market for somewhat less and considerably more.  It didn't come with the accessory box but I did get an intact case, the original manual, and a nice vintage buttonholer with seven templates.





My last piece for BurdaStyle was all about how to buy a vintage sewing machine and I didn't follow my own advice.  The eBay seller wrote "the light works and the machine sews."  Well the light does work and the machine does sew -- sort of.  I could have asked for a stitch sample but it was clear that the seller knew very little about the machine and I hoped the vagueness of the description would depress the bidding, which it did.  It's a crap shoot as they say and I gave the seller positive feedback regardless.  (BTW, the seller thought the machine was from 1934; it's from 1951 based on the serial number and indeed -- I just noticed this five minutes ago -- it has the Singer Centennial badge!)

The motor sounds great, and after significant oiling everything now runs smoothly and powerfully, but after a few stitches the thread jams.  So yesterday I read online about Featherweight thread jams -- and read and read and read.  The amount of information out there about this little machine is astounding!

Remember I mentioned needing to buy a small screwdriver to tighten the hook gib screw with?  Well I did, and though I tightened it, the thread still jammed (I'd already checked the needle, thread, etc.).

One site suggested I remove and clean under the bobbin case base, pictured below, which I then did.  (This is the piece that the bobbin case fits into.)  It's all part of the larger hook assembly.  Am I losing you?



With bobbin case base removed:
 

I then noticed that there was what looked like a screw hole visible as well as a loose plate beneath it on the same shaft.  This loose plate I eventually identified as the loop guard.  And wouldn't you know: the loop guard is supposed to be screwed on to the hook assembly.  Can you see where it looks like there's a screw missing on the right?  That's because there is a screw missing.  (It's the smaller of the two holes.)

Here's the side view:
 

Wrapped around the shaft between the loop guard and the rest of the hook assembly were layers and layers of thread -- old, old thread, my friends.

First I pulled out a few strands of filament as fine as doll hair (which it could be for all I know).



Half an hour later I had removed all this:



Anyway, miracle or miracles, many websites sell this loop guard screw for just a few dollars and I ordered one.  It should arrive next week sometime and then we'll take it from there!

As I was figuring all this out yesterday I kept sending emails to Rain with headings like "My Featherweight issue," "Last email, promise" and "REALLY the last email!"  Obviously a man of few words, his (sole) response was "Sounds like you solved the problem, yeah?"  Friends, is that what you think I wanted to hear?  He's the sewing machine repair specialist!  This is the problem with the internet, I think.  With a little effort you can solve just about any technical problem yourself; I hate that.

Here's a bonus pic of the entire hook assembly for you Featherweight fetishists.  Pretty hot, huh?



Lest you think I spent the entire day marinating in sewing machine oil, I actually got some sewing done, though not as much as I'd hoped to.

I started on the jacket and readers, it's going to be so cute, though obviously not something you'd wear over a tee shirt.



I also finished the kimono sleeves on the bodice with bias I cut myself.









Such a nice finish.  I'll slip stitch those down later on.

Friends, we're nearly out of time.  Thank you for all your wonderful Featherweight-related tips yesterday.  The stinky, sneeze-inducing carrying case is on the balcony and I'm not entirely sure what to do with it.  In a city apartment there's really no place to store moldy things and I already have all that old luggage smelling up the bedroom.  I will probably never even use that case and I don't really see myself stripping it down, fumigating it, potpourri-ing it or anything of that ilk.  Then again, yesterday I'd never heard of a loop guard screw.

If I had to do over I'd pay less for a machine without a case (most of the old ones have the stink issue, apparently) and get one of those nice new tote bags for it.  Live and learn!

TOKIBAT!

Have a great day, everybody!

P.S. - You can read my latest BurdaStyle piece here; comments are always welcome!

Happy Birthday Valerie Curtin, Shirley Jones, Rhea Perlman, Ewan McGregor, Angus Young, Al Gore, Gabe Kaplan, Christopher Walken, Herb Alpert, Richard Chamberlain and Franz Josef Haydn (:

Katy Perry's "E.T." video with Kanye West debuts today(:

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Happy Birthday Celine Dion, Norah Jones, Tracy Chapman, Anna Nalick, Astrud Gilberto, Lena Lovich, Warren Beatty, John Astin, Eric Clapton, Robbie Coltrane, Paul Reisser, MC Hammer, Paul Wall and Ian Ziering... Have A Great Day!

Photo Album 2...and the Featherweight arrives!



More pics from the magical mystery photo album -- and so much more, my friends.  But first...

Who wants a Tom Collins?



Belly up to the (home) bar, boys!



Just three more drinks till dinner, hon.



Ray-Bans, madras shorts, chinos...







Grammy seeks a quick exit.



Don't eat the fruit, Bunny...



Happy Birthday, Chip!



Lots more fun pics of the life I'll never have but at least someone did here.

In other news...the Featherweight arrived yesterday!





Carrying case intact though a little beat up, as expected.  The inside is a bit moldy looking (and smelling).



And there she is.





Not for the first time with a vintage machine, I turn her on, she runs and then immediately seizes up.



I take off her hand wheel and find decrepit thread wound around the shaft.



Under the throat plate, ancient mystery lint.





I'm not entirely sure I understand how to thread her, friends, though I DO have the manual.  I did get her to sew a bit (with a fresh needle)



But then the top thread would get tangled up below.  Here one possible cause:





The hook is loose.  Do you see how it comes off that little protruding doohickey on the left?  I don't have the correct screwdriver for this so I'll have to pick one up later today if possible.

The good: her motor sounds fantastic -- strong and quiet -- and when I run her with no thread she's smooth as can be.   I'll need to tighten up that hook (I might disassemble the shuttle race first)  and take it from there.

This is the first time I've bought a used sewing machine and not been able to sew with her right off the bat -- disappointing, but I suppose it builds character.  The seller said she sews and that's factually true but there's no way, judging from the condition she arrived in, that she was fully tested.  They probably turned the light on, revved the motor, and called it a day.  

I'm glad to have her, though, and eager to get her sewing.  Now about the smell...  (Haven't we been down this road before?)

Happy Wednesday, everybody!  Any Featherweight fans out there?

What are you having?

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Fundraisers at Highland and Hollywood raising money to help the Red Cross relief effort for Japan.

Coming up April 10th...  Walk for Kids benefitting Ronald McDonald Charities of Southern California, dedicated to providing comfort, care and support to children and families throughout the Southland - the walk is 3.1 miles -  http://www.walkforkids.org/  -
 
Congratulations to Reese Witherspoon and talent agent Jim Toth who got married over the weekend (:

Sorry to hear that cute couple Renee Zelwegger and Bradley Cooper decided to call it quits ):

Coming up.... 

LA Weekly 2011 Theater Awards, April 4 at the El Rey Theater (:  Tickets are only $20 - more info at www.LAWeekly.com/TheatreAwards .

"RAIN - A Tribute To The Beatles" comes to the Pantages April 12-17 direct from Broadway - http://www.raintribute.com/ or http://www.broadwayla.org/ .

"Love Sucks" at the Coast Playhouse in West Hollywood thru April 10 -   http://www.lovesucksplay.com/