Peter peeks into Barney's dressing room: the shocking photos -- and prices!

Wise and frugal readers, you know I'm not much of a shopper.  Yes, I practically grew up in Gimbels and spent more of my adolescence at Bloomingdale's than I care to remember, but now that I sew, I no longer shop for clothes.  (The Salvation Army doesn't count, of course.)

But occasionally I do like to poke my head in some of New York's better department stores just to see what's going on.  In fact, only yesterday I spent a good hour and a half in Macy's with Michael's parents (Michael's mother was shopping for a handbag), and a few days previous could be found checking out the wide array of face lifts and fake tans on display at Bergdorf's, in the company of French friend Anne.

On a secret mission alone, I recently visited my local Barney's Co-op.  The Co-op is Barney's hipper sibling, mainly mens and womens sportswear, heavy on the designer denim and chic reinterpretations of men's work clothes that one sees everywhere these days: flannel shirts, Pendleton-inspired wool plaid jackets, work boots, etc.  You'd think every fashionable man today was trying to look like a 1950 dockworker or oil rigger or something, albeit with skinnier pants and better hair. 

I couldn't resist trying on a few things and luckily I had my camera.

Not to boast, but I can sew up a pretty respectable looking mens dress shirt.  And so can Marc Jacobs apparently.





Very nice plaids in fabrics that looked and felt identical to what I find for $2/yd at my favorite fabric dive.  And just like shirts at the Gap and the uniforms at Burger King, they come in Small, Medium, and Large.

Of course, Marc's are made in Sri Lanka, and why not?  It's a lovely place.





The fit isn't great (I tried on the Small), but what do you expect for $188, perfection?





This blue and cream combo is made in Thailand.  Same price.  Same bad fit.  Remember readers, I wear a vintage Butterick 36" shirt with no alteration whatsoever.  I'm a pretty standard size.



The Gant brand, which I wore as a teen, has also been re-imagined: preppy chic and exclusive to shops like Barneys.

Here's their version of a classic tattersall plaid.  I tried on size XS.





Better fit, but too snug in shoulders and chest.  (That's the fit that's intended I assure you; it fit everywhere else.)  A relative bargain:



I also tried an XS Gant navy wool blazer cut trim like a prep school uniform mistakenly thrown in the wash and dried on the high setting.







Very snug and nothing special.



Readers, is this fair?  I mean, to sneak into a department store dressing room and gawk at the ordinary clothes at extraordinary prices?

For less than the price of that yawn-inspiring Marc Jacobs shirt, I could have bought a gorgeous Singer Featherweight at the flea market today.  Could have -- I restrained myself.

Oh, wise ones, do you ever try on clothes at swanky stores merely to gawk and smugly judge?  Do you feel compelled to buy something as a form of compensation to the store, if only a tube of Kiehl's Facial Fuel Energizing Face Wash?

I don't.

There is something very odd about clothing pricing these days, especially when we're talking high-priced designer duds made in low-wage countries. 

Oh yeah: so we're in giftware on the eighth floor at Macy's yesterday. You know Wedgwood, that most British of British brands, whose label reads, England 1759?  (What American tourist didn't come back from the UK without a piece of Wedgwood?)

Made in Thailand.

I need more coffee.

20 Classic Spy-Fi Shows on DVD

Mission: Impossible

An assortment of classic television on DVD featuring spies, undercover agents, and other international crime fighters:

01 Mission: Impossible (171/35 episodes)
02 The Avengers (161 episodes)
03 Get Smart (138 episodes)
04 The Saint (118 episodes)
05 The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (105 episodes)
06 The Wild Wild West (104 episodes)
07 The Six Million Dollar Man (100 episodes)
08 La Femme Nikita (96 episodes)
09 The Equalizer (88 episodes)
10 Danger Man AKA Secret Agent (86 episodes)
11 It Takes a Thief (66 episodes)
12 The Bionic Woman (58 episodes)
13 The Baron (30 episodes)
14 The Champions (30 episodes)
15 The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. (29 episodes)
16 Department S (28 episodes)
17 The New Avengers (26 episodes)
18 The Invisible Man (26 episodes)
19 Jason King (26 episodes)
20 The Prisoner (17 episodes)

Manscaping - yea or nay?

Good morning, smooth-skinned ladies and rough-stubbled gentlemen!  Today we're discussing --

No.  No, I can't.  Not this topic.

At Male Pattern Boldness we have our standards.   The very idea of manscaping strikes me as vulgar and, frankly, a little prurient.  I apologize to the vulgar and prurient among you.  The staff member responsible for suggesting manscaping will be disciplined.

Instead, refined readers, today we're talking...houndstooth!

Just look what I picked up yesterday for Cathy's new One Pattern Wardrobe contest entry!  Two yards (the last two, sadly) of this:

 
It's a soft cotton twill with, thankfully, no stretch. And then I also purchased -- are you sitting down? -- five yards of this:





A bold, oversized houndstooth double knit. Now look at them together.



Does this not literally scream 1969-1970?  Just a reminder, here's my pattern, which had better get here early next week.



I'm thinking the whole enchilada (matching jacket and pants) in the black and white, and the top and shorts in the red and black.  Groovy, right?  And did I mention they were both $2/yd?

Oh, and then, friends, on a preliminary reconnaissance mission to the Salvation Army -- this:





Does that hat not evoke every late-Sixties Vogue Paris Original pattern that ever made you bark, Enough with the double knit A-line sheaths already!?

Not to mention That Girl.

But back to houndstooth.  It's everywhere these days.

So many great possibilities.  I am thinking that I'll also want to make the top in a third fabric, maybe a stripe, maybe a solid in a really pow color.  What do you think?

Your suggestions yesterday were very helpful, btw.  I'm psyched.

In closing, readers, I suppose it's only fair to ask you about manscaping.  We are living in a rather in-your-face, no-holds-barred world, alas.

If you must opine on the subject of manscaping, do so, but please, be discreet.  A simple yea or nay will suffice, no gory details.  There are children reading, not to mention the painfully naive.

Have a great day, everybody!

"Tinsel on a tree" -- forty years later, I finally understand that lyric.

Cathy Wants Clothes

Friends, it should come as no surprise that I hear from my identical cousin Cathy about as often as I hear from Elaine (The Selfish Seamstress), which is to say, not very often.

My cousin doesn't read Male Pattern Boldness and why should she?  She doesn't sew and, frankly, she's not much of a reader beyond the latest self-help snooze-fest or diet-of-the-month drivel purchased impulsively at the airport.

But occasionally Cathy will pop in to let me know how she's doing and give me a brief summary of her activities.  Her latest email was brief to the point of rudeness:  I need clothes.  Have you ever?

Relatives can certainly work your nerves, cousins in particular.  Remember Samantha's cousin Serena?

And Jeannie's cousin, whats-her-name?

And wasn't bendable leg Francie cousin to old stiff-kneed Barbie -- or merely a close friend?  I forget.

Then there was that other Cathy Lane.  Or is that Patty?  What was the difference between those two anyway besides a headband and a bad British accent? 

But enough TV trivia.

Readers, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, blood is thicker than water, long story short, the time has come for me to stitch up something for my cousin once again.  I know some of you will be delighted, others disappointed, but I can't please everybody. 

The other day I discovered that Pattern Review is holding a new challenge contest starting November 1.  It's called One Pattern Wardrobe and you have two weeks to create two complete outfits out of at least three items you sew yourself, all from the same pattern.  You can read more about it here.

I thought this sounded perfect for Cathy, who has been begging me all year for some separates, as opposed to those gorgeous vintage frocks she claims she can't wear anywhere.

I spent many an hour digging through dozens of Hate-y Eighties atrocities on eBay and Etsy before stumbling upon this 1969 gem:

Granted, it's a little, shall we say, suburban as illustrated, but I think with the right fabrics and accessories we can dress it up.  I love the top with shorts (2nd from the right) and of course, the full pantsuit ensemble is very Catherine Deneuve in early Seventies Yves Saint Laurent.  The whole pattern actually.

And Cathy can wear her hair long or short! 

In closing, I can't wait to go fabric shopping and start burrowing myself among the $2/yd bolts.  No velveteen.

If you have strong opinions about colors, fabrics, hair treatments, turbans and veils, etc., please let me know before I've already completed the photoshoot. 

It's nice to sew a mens Western jacket from time to time, but let's face it: girl's clothes are a lot more fun, don't you agree?

Are you entering the contest?  Do you have a cousin you believe has evil powers or at least, doesn't have your best interests at heart?  Or maybe a MIL.  Unburden yourself here.

Happy Friday, everybody!