Even though the
Watchmen feature film doesn't hit DVD and Blu-ray until July, I want to look at one of my quibbles with the much-discussed box-office dud: its not-very-imaginative soundtrack.
It's rare to see a comic book that comes with its own soundtrack.
Lalo Schifrin composed some themes for his son Ryan's Devil's Due comic
Spooks, Rob Schrab picked out several songs or themes from movies like
The Empire Strikes Back to accompany pages of
Scud: The Disposable Assassin, and of course, eight years before Schrab introduced the indie rock-and-John Williams-scored
Scud, Alan Moore's groundbreaking
Watchmen quoted from "All Along the Watchtower," "Neighborhood Threat" by Iggy Pop, "You're My Thrill" by Billie Holliday, "Sanities" by John Cale and "The Comedians" by
Declan McManus, international art thief. Moore made diegetic use of "Neighborhood Threat" (Dan Dreiberg's lonely walk back to his apartment) and "You're My Thrill" (the Owl Ship tenement rescue sequence).
(
A complete list of the tunes that Moore's Watchmen referenced was posted by Shawn from thus spake drake, who notes that "The chapter and title uses [in which lyrics by the likes of Cale and Bob Dylan were quoted], while they work lyrically with the story, don't necessarily correspond musically with the tone of the comic, so they're best as a reference and not a literal backing track.")
The British comics author's song references captured quite well the anxiety and sadness of the paranoid times Moore's screwed-up superheroes lived in. So what does Zack Snyder--who said he wanted to be as faithful to the DC miniseries as possible, save for a few exceptions like the omission of the big-ass squid, which pissed off the most hardcore
Watchmen fanboys while I had no problems at all with the squidless climax--do with the song soundtrack for his adaptation? He keeps key songs like "All Along the Watchtower" and "You're My Thrill" but omits other tunes from the comic and sprinkles the soundtrack with tired and overused existing songs like Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sounds of Silence."
"Ride of the Valkyries" was a clever choice for
Apocalypse Now's copter attack sequence. But thanks to countless movies and shows with Wagner-scored Vietnam War sequences like
Watchmen, I now wish I could hop into a time machine to 1978 and kill Francis Ford Coppola so that he never puts "Valkyries" on his
Apocalypse Now soundtrack.
Who did they hire to be the music supervisor on
Watchmen? The narrator of
The Wonder Years? Steve West from
Radio Nigel or the music supervisor from BBC's
Ashes to Ashes would have been a better music supervisor. Snyder's existing song choices in the
Dawn of the Dead remake, my favorite Snyder movie, were far less hackneyed (Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around," Richard Cheese's cover of Disturbed's "Down with the Sickness"). I'm an Elvis Costello fan, so I'm bummed that Snyder's
Watchmen omitted "The Comedians," even though it comes from what Costello considers the worst album of his career,
Goodbye Cruel World. However, "The Times They Are A-Changin'," which was referenced in the comic's fake Adrian Veidt cologne magazine ad, was perfect for
Watchmen's main title sequence, my favorite title sequence in a 2009 movie so far.
I was listening to
Prince's "Sign O' the Times" on my iPod earlier today, and I thought, "Man, I would have put that tune on the
Watchmen movie soundtrack and swapped selections like 'The Sounds of Silence,' '99 Luftballons' and 'I'm Your Boogie Man' for some lesser-known '80s tunes," so here's the track listing for my alternate
Watchmen soundtrack:
1. Nat King Cole, "Unforgettable"2. Bob Dylan, "The Times They Are A-Changin'"3. Prince, "Sign O' the Times"Sure, "Sign O' the Times" is from 1987, not 1985, the year when most of
Watchmen is set, but in the story's alternate universe, I'd like to think Prince came out with
Sign O' the Times right after
Purple Rain instead of
Around the World in a Day.
4. Iggy Pop, "Neighborhood Threat" 5. Philip Glass, "Pruit Igoe & Prophecies"6. Killing Joke, "Eighties" 7. Elvis Costello & the Attractions, "The Comedians" 8. The Clash, "White Riot" A reviewer at Wired's Underwire blog says he would have preferred a tune by the L.A. punk band the Minutemen--also the original name of the
Watchmen characters' team--instead of "I'm Your Boogie Man" for the '70s protest sequence. I'm not familiar with the Minutemen, so I'd go with "White Riot," which is
often mistaken for being a skinhead anthem.
ego trip's Big Book of Racism wryly describes it as the song in which "Class of '77 punk's finest are sick of colored folks hogging all the revolution."
9. The Police, "Walking on the Moon"I would have used "Walking on the Moon," which is sung in the comic by a nervous soldier who sees Dr. Manhattan teleport himself away, or "You're My Thrill" instead of "99 Luftballons" for the Dan/Laurie diner scene.
10. Billie Holliday, "You're My Thrill" 11. Devo, "Jocko Homo" 12. The Rolling Stones, "Worried About You"(*) (instead of Leonard Cohen's ubiquitous "Hallelujah" during the movie's much-maligned--but not by me--sex scene)
13. Siouxsie and the Banshees, "Happy House" (for the prison sequence)
14. XTC, "All Along the Watchtower"Jimi Hendrix's cover of "Watchtower" will always be my favorite version of the Dylan song, but let's face it, the Hendrix version is overused these days. Because of
Watchmen's '80s setting, I would have picked XTC's 1978 version.
15. Time Zone featuring John Lydon & Afrika Bambaataa, "World Destruction" 16. John Cale, "Sanities"17. Bob Dylan, "Desolation Row"18. Leonard Cohen, "First We Take Manhattan" (the IMAX version, which was the version I saw, cut this song from the end credits and ran a sped-up version of the credits because the movie was already too long for IMAX exhibition)
And I would have shown way less schlonggage from Nuclear Smurf and I would have adapted
Watchmen into a miniseries for HBO or FX instead of a feature film that's both too long as a film in the theater and too short as an adaptation of such a dense and literate piece of comics writing, but those are discussions for another post.
(*) Self-pimpin' time: "Worried About You" and "World Destruction" can be heard during A Fistful of Soundtracks' "F Zone" block of existing songs that have been used in films and shows. "The F Zone" airs Mondays at 4am, 9am and 3pm, Wednesdays at noon and Fridays at 5am, 9am and 3pm on AFOS.
