... the donut shop I live near because of its clever menu and because I'd run into folks like this:
[Via Psycho Donuts' Facebook page]
Oh yeah, and La Victoria across the street ain't too shabby.
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Showing posts with label Star Wars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Star Wars. Show all posts
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
"Aw hell, Chewbacca": 10 genuinely funny stand-up routines or monologues about movies (UPDATED)
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Monday, 18 April 2011
Five rap jams where the rappers drop malapropistic pop culture references that make them sound like John Witherspoon when he referred to "Public Enema" during House Party
One of my favorite lines in the original House Party was John Witherspoon's Granddad from The Boondocks-esque neighbor character complaining about the title party blasting the music of "Public Enema." On a similar note, my favorite line in Zack and Miri Make a Porno is "Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War" because instead of Star Wars, Craig Robinson calls it "the Star War," as if the fictional conflict were the Civil War or the Vietnam War.
The "Public Enema" and "Star War" lines remind me of an article I read in a hip-hop magazine once. The article listed moments when rappers dropped malapropistic pop culture references or flubbed up celebrities' names. When they flub up the pop culture references like in the following five tracks, rappers suddenly sound old and out-of-it like that Witherspoon character from House Party (the Beastie Boys have been in the game for a while, but hopefully, they won't sound too out-of-it on their promising-sounding new album Hot Sauce Committee Part Two).
Thanks to "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" by Pitbull, I'm in the mood for renting a film by "Albert Hitchcock."
1. "My Weezy" by Lil Wayne
Like Mojo Nixon during "Elvis Is Everywhere" and Sound of Young America host Jesse Thorn, Wayne calls Star Trek's Vulcan hero "Dr. Spock" (a la baby care expert Dr. Benjamin Spock) instead of Mr. Spock.
2. "Oh Word?" by the Beastie Boys
"This is not a fantasy, I'm not Mr. O'Roarke." Wow, I didn't know the racially ambiguous but Latin-ish Mr. Roarke was really an Irish bloke all along.
3. "Shazam" by the Beastie Boys
Mike D misidentifies Fred Sanford's dead wife Elizabeth as "Weezy."
4. "Flip Flop Rock" by Big Boi featuring Killer Mike & Jay-Z
Big Boi refers to Penelope Cruz as "Penelope Ann Cruz," while Killer Mike admires the authority of "Commander Picard."
5. "Blindfold Me" by Kelis and her then-husband Nas
Nas probably meant "Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 Weeks," but for some reason, it came out as "Gonna surprise you like Hugh Grant in 8 1/2 Weeks." Confusing the works of softcore porn producer Zalman King with the oeuvre of Chris Columbus, the family-friendly director of Nine Months, Home Alone and I Love You, Beth Cooper, is a common mistake in hip-hop. The other day on the street, I overheard a freestyle battle where one MC insulted the other to the beat of Drake's "Over" with "Got a text from your girl saying she wanna ride my penis/Like Hayden Panettiere in Delta of Venus."
The "Public Enema" and "Star War" lines remind me of an article I read in a hip-hop magazine once. The article listed moments when rappers dropped malapropistic pop culture references or flubbed up celebrities' names. When they flub up the pop culture references like in the following five tracks, rappers suddenly sound old and out-of-it like that Witherspoon character from House Party (the Beastie Boys have been in the game for a while, but hopefully, they won't sound too out-of-it on their promising-sounding new album Hot Sauce Committee Part Two).
Thanks to "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" by Pitbull, I'm in the mood for renting a film by "Albert Hitchcock."
1. "My Weezy" by Lil Wayne
Like Mojo Nixon during "Elvis Is Everywhere" and Sound of Young America host Jesse Thorn, Wayne calls Star Trek's Vulcan hero "Dr. Spock" (a la baby care expert Dr. Benjamin Spock) instead of Mr. Spock.
2. "Oh Word?" by the Beastie Boys
"This is not a fantasy, I'm not Mr. O'Roarke." Wow, I didn't know the racially ambiguous but Latin-ish Mr. Roarke was really an Irish bloke all along.
3. "Shazam" by the Beastie Boys
Mike D misidentifies Fred Sanford's dead wife Elizabeth as "Weezy."
4. "Flip Flop Rock" by Big Boi featuring Killer Mike & Jay-Z
Big Boi refers to Penelope Cruz as "Penelope Ann Cruz," while Killer Mike admires the authority of "Commander Picard."
5. "Blindfold Me" by Kelis and her then-husband Nas
Nas probably meant "Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 Weeks," but for some reason, it came out as "Gonna surprise you like Hugh Grant in 8 1/2 Weeks." Confusing the works of softcore porn producer Zalman King with the oeuvre of Chris Columbus, the family-friendly director of Nine Months, Home Alone and I Love You, Beth Cooper, is a common mistake in hip-hop. The other day on the street, I overheard a freestyle battle where one MC insulted the other to the beat of Drake's "Over" with "Got a text from your girl saying she wanna ride my penis/Like Hayden Panettiere in Delta of Venus."
Thursday, 27 January 2011
A teen who was in a coma from 1974 to 2008 recaps the first Star Wars prequel
By special guest blogger Sonny Gautier
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Sonny Gautier is a Fistful of Soundtracks listener from Bed-Stuy who previously wrote for this blog a review of the 2008 trailer for Star Trek because his favorite TV show was Star Trek--the '70s animated series, not the much more popular '60s live-action show the cartoon was based on. Due to brain damage caused by exposure to too many Sid and Marty Krofft shows, a then-adolescent Sonny lapsed into a coma in 1974 and didn't wake up until 2008. Sonny has had a lot to catch up on. When I suggested he check out New Jack City because it has far doper production values than the pre-New Jack blaction flicks he grew up watching, he said, "I've seen that flick so many times already." He was much more interested in a series of fantasy flicks he'd never seen before: Star Wars. Here's Sonny's recap of one of the six Star Wars installments, which he opted to watch in chronological order, from The Phantom Menace to Return of the Jedi, instead of the way most of the rest of us watched the series, from A New Hope to Revenge of the Sith.)
Star Wars: Episode I--The Phantom Menace
Holy shit.
I had never seen a movie open like that before. BLAAAAM! Horn stabs out of nowhere! It felt like a pimp kicking you in the nuts with one of his high heels. And there was no "Starring James Cagney in..." or "Pam Grier is..." It just cut to the chase and said, "Screw the opening credits. Who gives a shit about the old lady who sewed together all the robes or the sucker who shined the skinny robot's shoes? This is what you need to know about the phantom menace."
I used to play trumpet for my high school marching band, so I dug the abrupt fanfare that kicked off The Phantom Menace. Jim told me the music was written by a man named John Williams. Where was this Williams cat when I was in my coma? If he had been by my bedside and gotten together a bunch of musicians to play the Phantom Menace theme, that would have woken my ass up.
After the opening theme, an Irish priest in space brings along with him a younger priest for a mission to keep the peace in the galaxy. I forgot what exactly their mission was because I couldn't remember most of the yellow words that scrolled upward into the horizon before the opening action scene--some complicated bullshit about "trade" and "taxation," I think. I felt like I was watching my eighth grade history teacher Mr. Greenblatt try to write a screenplay about the Revolutionary War but then gave up early on and turned it into a movie about Irish priests in space.
The Jedi priests carry swords of light that buzz and can cut through steel walls. Those are some dynamite-looking weapons. The bug-eyed aliens who interfere with the priests' mission talk like the dudes who run the nearby sushi bar. Later on, a donkey who talks like a gay Jamaican ice cream man and is named Jar Jar tags along with the priests. What's up with all the accents in this movie? It's set in an unspecified future where priests pilot spaceships and arm themselves with light swords, yet the priests and aliens all sound like they're from certain parts of the other boroughs. If that shufflin' donkey's supposed to be the comic relief, he's not very funny. (The queen in whiteface who sounds like a transsexual ho cracked me up much more than the donkey or the little robots that kept saying "Roger, roger.") The six-year-old white kids in the audience might find Jar Jar funny, but I don't. I'd rather see Redd Foxx be the comic relief. Is he still busy?
Father Jinn, his "padawan" Obi-Wan and the Jamaican donkey are forced to get their damaged ship repaired on a desert planet, where they encounter a slave woman and her son, whom Jinn believes to be the Messiah because of his "midichlorians." You know it's science fiction because the slaves are a white woman and her blond son. Yet I kind of enjoyed seeing a couple of white folks in shackles. Still, that doesn't make up for the Stepin Fetchit shit with the donkey.
Father Jinn needs to stay off the, uh, gin because the kid doesn't look like much of a savior. A future leader in a star war needs to have what white folks call charisma, and this sulky little turkey doesn't. The kid must be half-robot, half-human because he only had one expression for the entire movie.
I dug the kid's futuristic car race and the sword fight between the Jedis and Darth Maul, but where's the "wars" of the title? There wasn't much bloodshed like there is in the war movies I know--and most of them don't even have "wars" in the title. I know this is only the first installment in the series, and they're building towards something monumental, but that's kind of false advertising. The Phantom Menace script comes off as boring instead of exciting, although I like how Star Wars doesn't got any overdramatic scenes of somebody shaking their fists at the sky and crying "Nooooooooo!!!"
The Irish priest looks constipated for the whole movie and then dies in the climactic sword fight. Obi-Wan takes over as the kid's mentor so that he can teach him how to make some new facial expressions. A brother named Mace Windu looks like he could whup some ass with his purple blade but isn't given shit to do in the movie. The cat who plays Mace must be one of those strong, silent types who never scream and shout in their movies.
I heard Billy Dee Williams, an even cooler dude than Mace, doesn't show up until Episode V. This is going to be one long-ass space saga. In this first movie, there wasn't enough of that Darth cat or Mace, and there was way too much of unfunny Jar Jar. Man, I feel sorry for all the Jamaican ice cream men out there who have to be subjected to this dumbass donkey.
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Sonny Gautier is a Fistful of Soundtracks listener from Bed-Stuy who previously wrote for this blog a review of the 2008 trailer for Star Trek because his favorite TV show was Star Trek--the '70s animated series, not the much more popular '60s live-action show the cartoon was based on. Due to brain damage caused by exposure to too many Sid and Marty Krofft shows, a then-adolescent Sonny lapsed into a coma in 1974 and didn't wake up until 2008. Sonny has had a lot to catch up on. When I suggested he check out New Jack City because it has far doper production values than the pre-New Jack blaction flicks he grew up watching, he said, "I've seen that flick so many times already." He was much more interested in a series of fantasy flicks he'd never seen before: Star Wars. Here's Sonny's recap of one of the six Star Wars installments, which he opted to watch in chronological order, from The Phantom Menace to Return of the Jedi, instead of the way most of the rest of us watched the series, from A New Hope to Revenge of the Sith.)
Star Wars: Episode I--The Phantom Menace
Holy shit.
I had never seen a movie open like that before. BLAAAAM! Horn stabs out of nowhere! It felt like a pimp kicking you in the nuts with one of his high heels. And there was no "Starring James Cagney in..." or "Pam Grier is..." It just cut to the chase and said, "Screw the opening credits. Who gives a shit about the old lady who sewed together all the robes or the sucker who shined the skinny robot's shoes? This is what you need to know about the phantom menace."
I used to play trumpet for my high school marching band, so I dug the abrupt fanfare that kicked off The Phantom Menace. Jim told me the music was written by a man named John Williams. Where was this Williams cat when I was in my coma? If he had been by my bedside and gotten together a bunch of musicians to play the Phantom Menace theme, that would have woken my ass up.
After the opening theme, an Irish priest in space brings along with him a younger priest for a mission to keep the peace in the galaxy. I forgot what exactly their mission was because I couldn't remember most of the yellow words that scrolled upward into the horizon before the opening action scene--some complicated bullshit about "trade" and "taxation," I think. I felt like I was watching my eighth grade history teacher Mr. Greenblatt try to write a screenplay about the Revolutionary War but then gave up early on and turned it into a movie about Irish priests in space.
The Jedi priests carry swords of light that buzz and can cut through steel walls. Those are some dynamite-looking weapons. The bug-eyed aliens who interfere with the priests' mission talk like the dudes who run the nearby sushi bar. Later on, a donkey who talks like a gay Jamaican ice cream man and is named Jar Jar tags along with the priests. What's up with all the accents in this movie? It's set in an unspecified future where priests pilot spaceships and arm themselves with light swords, yet the priests and aliens all sound like they're from certain parts of the other boroughs. If that shufflin' donkey's supposed to be the comic relief, he's not very funny. (The queen in whiteface who sounds like a transsexual ho cracked me up much more than the donkey or the little robots that kept saying "Roger, roger.") The six-year-old white kids in the audience might find Jar Jar funny, but I don't. I'd rather see Redd Foxx be the comic relief. Is he still busy?
Father Jinn, his "padawan" Obi-Wan and the Jamaican donkey are forced to get their damaged ship repaired on a desert planet, where they encounter a slave woman and her son, whom Jinn believes to be the Messiah because of his "midichlorians." You know it's science fiction because the slaves are a white woman and her blond son. Yet I kind of enjoyed seeing a couple of white folks in shackles. Still, that doesn't make up for the Stepin Fetchit shit with the donkey.
Father Jinn needs to stay off the, uh, gin because the kid doesn't look like much of a savior. A future leader in a star war needs to have what white folks call charisma, and this sulky little turkey doesn't. The kid must be half-robot, half-human because he only had one expression for the entire movie.
I dug the kid's futuristic car race and the sword fight between the Jedis and Darth Maul, but where's the "wars" of the title? There wasn't much bloodshed like there is in the war movies I know--and most of them don't even have "wars" in the title. I know this is only the first installment in the series, and they're building towards something monumental, but that's kind of false advertising. The Phantom Menace script comes off as boring instead of exciting, although I like how Star Wars doesn't got any overdramatic scenes of somebody shaking their fists at the sky and crying "Nooooooooo!!!"
The Irish priest looks constipated for the whole movie and then dies in the climactic sword fight. Obi-Wan takes over as the kid's mentor so that he can teach him how to make some new facial expressions. A brother named Mace Windu looks like he could whup some ass with his purple blade but isn't given shit to do in the movie. The cat who plays Mace must be one of those strong, silent types who never scream and shout in their movies.
I heard Billy Dee Williams, an even cooler dude than Mace, doesn't show up until Episode V. This is going to be one long-ass space saga. In this first movie, there wasn't enough of that Darth cat or Mace, and there was way too much of unfunny Jar Jar. Man, I feel sorry for all the Jamaican ice cream men out there who have to be subjected to this dumbass donkey.
Monday, 24 January 2011
The Rinzler boy
Most remixes of film or TV score music are meh, but French remixer Basic Slack's take on "Rinzler"--Daft Punk's thrilling cue from the Tron: Legacy "Disc Wars" skirmish between Sam (Garrett Hedlund) and Rinzler (Anis Cheurfa), the antagonist who always arms himself with two discs a la Chow Yun-Fat's double Beretta action in John Woo flicks and Darth Maul's double-bladed saber-wielding in The Phlaccid Menace--is a pretty good expansion of that two-minute cue.
Tron: Legacy music supervisor Jason Bentley told the MTV Movies Blog that "The score that [Daft Punk] set out to make was one that could stand with Star Wars or Superman." It sure does stand with them. The fact that I keep adding more tracks from Tron: Legacy to "Assorted Fistful" rotation and have listened to Daft Punk's score repeatedly, whether in its original form or in remixes like Basic Slack's--and even more often than I did with any of the Star Wars or Superman score albums--is proof of that.
Tron: Legacy music supervisor Jason Bentley told the MTV Movies Blog that "The score that [Daft Punk] set out to make was one that could stand with Star Wars or Superman." It sure does stand with them. The fact that I keep adding more tracks from Tron: Legacy to "Assorted Fistful" rotation and have listened to Daft Punk's score repeatedly, whether in its original form or in remixes like Basic Slack's--and even more often than I did with any of the Star Wars or Superman score albums--is proof of that.
Thursday, 20 January 2011
Catchin' Rec
Last March, the Parks and Recreation opening titles got Return of the Jedi-ized by a Parks and Rec fan. Now someone else has redone the titles in a big way. As part of promoting tonight's return of the much-missed Parks and Rec (it feels like it's been gone for ages--the extended absence was mostly due to star Amy Poehler's pregnancy), cast member Aziz Ansari has dropped an amusing remix.
The music in the Parks and Rec cast's CollegeHumor video is an actual hip-hop track from last March that sampled Gaby Moreno and Vincent Jones' great little Parks and Rec opening title theme ("Hampden Parks" by e-dubble).
The music in the Parks and Rec cast's CollegeHumor video is an actual hip-hop track from last March that sampled Gaby Moreno and Vincent Jones' great little Parks and Rec opening title theme ("Hampden Parks" by e-dubble).
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
A Fistful of Soundtracks' "Assorted Fistful" sets its sights on Bear McCreary's Human Target soundtrack

Former Battlestar Galactica composer Bear McCreary's beautifully crafted score cues for Human Target were a highlight of the first season of the Mark Valley series, an enjoyable Burn Notice-like throwback to '80s action shows despite co-star Jackie Earle Haley's weekly overuse of the word "dude" and the fact that Human Target bears little resemblance to the angsty, not-so-lighthearted Vertigo comic book that inspired it.
Most first-season Human Target episodes featured music performed by a 60-piece orchestra (McCreary upped it to 94 for the "Christopher Chance" season finale that guest-starred Armand Assante, Amy Acker and Lee Majors as a predecessor to Valley's title hero, an assassin-turned-bodyguard). This made McCreary's orchestra the largest group of musicians assembled for a TV series in years, a huge leap from the 30-piece orchestra McCreary often conducted on Galactica, the 29-to-34-piece orchestra Shirley Walker and her team of composers led during another made-for-TV DC Comics adaptation, Batman: The Animated Series, and the 37-piece one Michael Giacchino assembled for Lost.
"At the first production meeting we had, even before the pilot, I said we must have an orchestra," said Human Target's first-season showrunner Jonathan E. Steinberg in the press release for this month's Human Target soundtrack release. "This show is about an action hero, it's built out of the DNA of the movies I grew up on, Star Wars and Raiders and Star Trek. Those movies don't work without that orchestra."
Human Target, which debuted on Fox as a mid-season replacement last January, will return to the Fox lineup in mid-November (the season premiere was originally scheduled to air earlier this month--that's why the soundtrack release was slated for October--but the network postponed the premiere). However, Steinberg and McCreary didn't return for the second season. Matthew Miller, a writer/producer from Chuck, replaced Steinberg as showrunner, brought along Chuck composer Tim Jones and plans to insert into Human Target more Chuck-style "needle drops" (slang for existing songs), to the delight of a Human Target fan who said in HitFix.com's comments section that "I absolutely hate needle drops. I also love Bear McCreary's music. Human Target in its first season was a great callback to the silly shows of my childhood--The Fall Guy, The A-Team, etc. I don't like Chuck, and I don't like any of these proposed changes. I won't be tuning in for Season 2."
On his blog, McCreary explained his exit by saying "the series is now under new creative leadership, and as a result I have not been asked to return... We are likely to hear a very different musical approach to Human Target season 2, but I hope and trust the series will remain a fun adventure."

McCreary's departure is a disappointing development for fans of the show's Emmy-nominated first-season music like myself, but luckily, McCreary, who's currently busy juggling AMC's The Walking Dead and the Syfy shows Caprica and Eureka, has assembled a whopper of a Human Target soundtrack release. WaterTower Music's digital release of the Human Target soundtrack consists of 160 minutes of McCreary's music from the show, while La-La Land's physical version of the soundtrack on October 19 will contain even more music and encompass three discs.

I've added my favorite tracks from the Human Target album to daily "Assorted Fistful" rotation on the Fistful of Soundtracks channel. During one of these standout tracks, "The New Christopher Chance" from last season's cliffhanger, you can hear what Steinberg had in mind when he said his version of Human Target was built out of the DNA of Star Wars and Raiders. "The New Christopher Chance" contains "Katherine's Theme," a romantic motif McCreary wrote for Acker's character. The sweeping theme brings to mind both Han and Leia's Empire Strikes Back love theme and "Marion's Theme" from Raiders.
Tune into A Fistful of Soundtracks to get your Human Target music fix while you wait another few weeks for Jackie Earle Haley to come back and abuse the word "dude."
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
"Aw hell, Chewbacca": 10 genuinely funny stand-up routines about movies

Patton Oswalt, one of the few stand-ups who have publicly sworn off Twitter ("I like having radio silence. I think radio silence is an important part of any public figure's day."), did the unthinkable this past weekend when he succumbed to the Twittersphere and started an account. As one can see from his act and his stint as a guest programmer at L.A.'s New Bev Cinema, movies are a topic the Big Fan star and Hollywood script doctor is passionate about, and they've led to some of my favorite Oswalt routines. Maybe we'll get a taste of some more Oswalt material about movies on his new Twitter page. To mark Oswalt's arrival on Twitter, where he's already on a roll and is demonstrating why stand-ups and comedy writers are the best kind of celebrity to follow on Twitter (unlike most other celebs, their tweets are rarely boring or shallow), here are 10 standout routines from the stand-up world about cinema. Four of these routines are Oswalt's.
10. Richard Pryor rewrites The Exorcist
The horror genre has always fascinated the late Pryor's former writing partner Paul Mooney, who's done brilliant jokes about the Frankenstein monster, white filmgoers' fears of the shark from Jaws and movies that skeevily put women in romantic situations with sci-fi monsters. He must have had a hand in writing Pryor's material about The Exorcist, which he and Pryor actually saw together at its Hollywood premiere. When Pryor guest-hosted SNL and brought along Mooney as a sketch writer, they did an amusing Exorcist sketch in which a pair of black priests (Pryor and Thalmus Rasulala) lose their patience with the possessed kid (Laraine Newman), who taunts Rasulala's priest with the cleaned-up-for-TV "Your mama sews socks that smell."
9. Scott Thompson sinks Titanic during an interview on Late Night with Conan O'Brien
"I don't think that to be a leading man, you have to be Harrison Ford, but I do think that you should be able to do at least one push-up. When little Leo finally kisses big Kate, I thought it was a lesbian scene."
8. Robert Klein reenacts every single Our Gang short you've seen
I actually like this routine from the 1973 album Child of the 50's more than "I Can't Stop My Leg." Klein's recreation of the Our Gang score music ("Hal Roach had four tunes that he played over and over again") is priceless.
7. Oswalt wonders what Star Wars would have been like if Nick Nolte won the role he actually auditioned for: Han Solo
"Fuckin' droids, beep, beep..."
6. Oswalt recalls one of the reasons why he left his hometown of Sterling, Virginia
The Blast of Silence-loving film geek gets worked up over the aggravating opinions of an NBC affiliate's out-of-touch film critic ("Yeah, so there's this new movie from Australia... called The Road Warrior. Now let me get this straight. It's the future, there's no gasoline, but everyone's driving around in cars. I don't get it. No stars!"). It's an oddly affecting routine that anyone who's aching to leave the hometown they despise--including right now, yours truly--can identify with.
5. Steve Byrne imagines how Bruce Lee had sex
This is a hilarious little routine that must be watched, not listened to. Why Byrne included it as a track on his 2005 CD Little by Little boggles the mind because 90 percent of it relies on visual gags. Without the visuals, it's like listening to a Marcel Marceau record album.
4. Mario Cantone does an impression of that annoying classroom song from The Birds
I'm disappointed that no one has posted Cantone's Birds routine on YouTube. If you watched a lot of Comedy Central during the late '90s like I did, you might have fond memories of the routine. The channel frequently reran it, yet it never got old. I always dug how instead of the Psycho shower scene or the North by Northwest crop-duster attack, Cantone chose a lesser-known Hitchcock movie moment to mock (and add some profane new lyrics to). And yes, when you watch The Birds, that song really does work your last nerve and make you want to go peck a defenseless hobo's eyes out like he's Suzanne Pleshette.
3. Oswalt wishes he could go back in time and kill George Lucas with a shovel
A lapsed Star Wars fan, Oswalt delivers a terrific argument against prequels. Yet that didn't stop Oswalt from joining the cast of one of them--Caprica.
2. Paul Mooney rips apart white Hollywood
During the long-out-of-print 1993 album Race, Mooney makes you never look at Disney's Beauty and the Beast the same way again ("Don't take your kids to see that shit. Four or five years from now, your kid'll be in the kitchen fucking the dog, singing 'Beauty and the Beast!'") and disses sci-fi and horror filmmakers for both their misogyny and weird fetishes for "exotic" interspecies romances (I wonder what Mooney has to say about Twilight and True Blood). But the best part of Mooney's amazing rant is when he explains why he detests Driving Miss Daisy ("I don't like that coonin' happy slave bullshit"). The movies that Mooney jokes about on the 1993 CD may be old now, but unfortunately, the stereotypes they reinforced still remain. Now if only there were an Asian American stand-up who isn't so subservient to the Man and will go onstage and rant about the Asian American version of all this.
1. Oswalt channels movie producer Robert Evans
I love how Oswalt often picks the most obscure pop culture-related topics for his act (Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is a recent example). An audience favorite at past Oswalt performances was his parody of the little-remembered ESPN radio ads that the Godfather and Rosemary's Baby producer recorded to promote the channel's programming. We see why Oswalt is frequently employed as a punch-up scriptwriter when he lets his imagination run wild with colorful, almost poetic-sounding descriptions of wild escapades with '70s celebrities ("Tom Wopat loved the three F's: food, fun and fisting. We took Gil Gerard out on my cigarette boat Memorial Day Weekend 1978, and I swear to you, over those sweet, savage 72 hours, he turned that poor man into his personal finger puppet.").
Labels:
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Scott Thompson,
Star Wars,
Steve Byrne,
The Birds,
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Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Alternate Posterama 2: Electric Boogaloo

Inglourious Basterds by David Choe.

Basterds by photographer Estevan Oriol (the Choe and Oriol posters were part of a Basterds-inspired art show that raised money for Haiti earthquake relief at L.A.'s Upper Playground Art Gallery).

Arrested Development/Star Wars mash-up. [Via The Live Feed]

Mythbusters/007 mash-up. [Via The Live Feed]

Antichrist/Fantastic Mr. Fox mash-up by SamsMyth.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans by Alan Hynes. [Via Super Punch]

Mean Streets by Raid71.
Wild Style by The Fat Beicon.

Alphaville by arrangement.

Moon by marcos c.

One, Two, Three by marcos c.

Batman Begins by TheMadmind.
Thursday, 25 June 2009
These are the bonuses of the starship Enterprise: Paramount announces its Star Trek Blu-ray/DVD extras

YouTube comedian Shyaporn pokes fun at J.J. Abrams' Star Trek in a funny spoof that calls attention to something I didn't notice even after watching the movie twice: Kirk--whether it's his preteen self or his academy cadet self--does an awful lot of hanging off cliffs during the movie.
Shyaporn's YouTube channel is a must-click channel (X-Men Origins: Wolverine and those YouTube "5000 impressions in 2 minutes" videos get nice skewerings there too). I would have discovered Shyaporn's Star Trek spoof sooner, like back when Abrams' Star Trek was, uh, more relevant, but because I'm Filipino, I'm late to everything.
Star Trek's DVD and Blu-ray release date won't be as late as I constantly am to things. Paramount has announced the street date and bonus features (from a filmmakers' commentrak to deleted scenes that were briefly glimpsed in the trailers), and the date is sooner than I expected: October 8. Here are some of the extras Paramount will include on both the DVD and Blu-ray editions of the summer's most popular and acclaimed blockbuster (suck it, Paramount's other cash cow, Transformers: Revenge of the Fetchit):
- Audio commentary (J.J. Abrams, Bryan Burk, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof, Roberto Orci) translated into Klingonese
- Audio commentary by a group of irate Trekkies who couldn't enjoy the movie because the Starfleet uniform insignia didn't stick to the original TV series' rule that each Starfleet ship has its own insignia
- Featurettes: "He Blinded Me with Lens Flares!: The Cinematography of Dan Mindel," "Red Balls in Your Mouth: J.J. Abrams' Red Ball Fetish," "How to Recreate the IMAX Experience: Just Press Your Face Against the Blu-ray Player Screen"
- Deleted scenes:
* Spock's birth
* McCoy's birth
* Uhura's birth
* Scotty's birth
* Sulu's birth
* Chekov's birth
* Spock's bris
* McCoy gets taken to the cleaners in divorce court
* Cadet Kirk is reunited with Biggs Darklighter
* Ayel tortures Pike by performing spoken-word poetry
* Nero tortures Pike with a screening of Ang Lee's Hulk
* The explanation for Kirk's swift promotion from cadet to starship captain (SPOILER ALERT: he slept with Fleet Admiral Madea)
Labels:
Asian American comedians,
Chris Pine,
Dan Mindel,
Eric Bana,
Filipino People's Time,
Hulk,
J.J. Abrams,
Karl Urban,
movie parodies,
Shyaporn,
Star Trek,
Star Wars,
Tyler Perry,
YouTube,
Zachary Quinto
Friday, 12 June 2009
The Fistful of Soundtracks station schedule--both past and present
Here's a detailed guide to the current Fistful of Soundtracks station schedule for listeners who aren't sure when certain programming blocks air or what kind of music is streamed during each block. I've also included descriptions of series I used to air on AFOS to show you the programming history of the station, which I launched in 2002. I pieced together parts of this post from program synopses I wrote for the now-defunct jim.aquino.com site, and I've updated those passages.Current programming blocks
"Assorted Fistful"
During this block, which occupies most of the day's programming, the channel streams random film and TV score cues. At noon on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, "Assorted Fistful" switches to "Soda and Pie" mode and focuses on '80s tracks from the library.
"Chai Noon"
Every Tuesday and Thursday at noon and every early Wednesday and early Friday at 4am, AFOS airs an hour-long block of assorted tracks from Bollywood movies like the Amitabh Bachchan classic Don and the Dhoom films. None of the other film music radio stations on the Web are doing something like this, which is pretty damn absurd. How can they not recognize the moviemaking capital of the world?
In a 2006 blog post, I talked about why I created this block:
"Chai Noon" came about after I glanced at ImaginAsian Radio's program lineup one day and noticed it consisted mostly of bhangra and Bollywood shows. Then it hit me: why aren't any of the film music radio stations on the Web streaming any Bollywood music shows or blocks like ImaginAsian and the desi radio stations do? And why didn't I have a Bollywood block on my station's lineup?FEBRUARY 27, 2010 UPDATE: "Chai Noon" also airs Wednesday at noon and early Thursday at 4am.
It was something I felt my station needed, even though I'm no expert on Bollywood soundtracks, and I've never sat through an entire Bollywood musical. (I wish DirecTV carried AZN Television, which my older brother is able to receive, thanks to his Berkeley cable company. When I was at my bruh's place one time, I caught an AZN broadcast of Fiza. I wasn't able to watch the whole flick, but the parts I saw were interesting. Only in Bollywood could you have song-and-dance numbers during a politically charged drama about terrorism.)
That Asha Bhosle song that's better known to your 15-year-old sister as the Black Eyed Peas' "Don't Phunk with My Heart" will be on the "Chai Noon" playlist. That Hindi tune that got Smithers shakin' at the end of a recent Simpsons ep will be there too (it's from Johny Mera Naam). And of course, I didn't forget "Chaiya Chaiya" from both Dil Se and Inside Man.
JANUARY 1, 2011 UPDATE: "New Cue Revue"
This hour-long block streams selections from new releases (or albums that aren't exactly new but are new to the "Assorted Fistful" playlist). It airs Wednesdays at 10-11am and 4-5pm and Fridays at 11am-noon.
JANUARY 1, 2011 UPDATE:
Existing songs from movies and shows like GoodFellas, The Wire, The Boondocks, Better Luck Tomorrow and Pineapple Express are streamed during this daytime shuffle-mode block that's in the style of "Chai Noon" and "Soda and Pie." It airs Mondays at 4am, 9am and 3pm

"Soda and Pie"
This block of '80s movie and TV themes airs at noon on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.
Yeah, the '80s had a lot to answer for: mullets, jhericurls, Full House, crappy Scott Baio sitcoms, Long Duk Dong and Reaganomics. But the decade also gave us Akira, Public Enemy, The Young Ones and Phoebe Cates in a red bikini. "Soda and Pie" focuses on the things about the '80s that don't make you cringe.
The "Soda and Pie" playlist includes selections from the scores to the original Miami Vice and '80s cult flicks like Akira, Big Trouble in Little China and Repo Man, as well as theme songs from movies like Wild Style, Purple Rain, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka and At Close Range. Also part of the playlist are covers of '80s themes, like the Dan Band's foul-mouthed "Flashdance/Fame" medley, Swedish musician Peter Benisch's remake of "Crockett's Theme" and some of the selections from the '80s tribute album High School Reunion.
JANUARY 1, 2011 UPDATE: "The Street"
Score music with a funkdafied sound dominates "The Street" at 6am and noon on Mondays, 6am and 1pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays and 7am and 1pm on Fridays.
MAY 23, 2011 UPDATE: "Rome, Italian Style"
This one-hour block streams both film score-inspired music like Italian composer Daniele Luppi's instrumentals from the albums Rome and An Italian Story and covers of '60s and '70s film and TV themes by musicians ranging from Count Basie to Mike Patton. The mission statement of the block is basically "how musicians outside the film and TV music world interpret film and TV music." "Rome, Italian Style" airs Mondays through Thursdays at 11am.
Discontinued series
The Empire Strikes Back (2004)
Remember a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, when Star Wars was cool--before the franchise JTS'd? Remember those days when not even a horrific Christmas TV special or the introduction of an annoyingly cutesy race of Tagalog-speaking teddy-bear aliens were enough to taint the franchise? Listeners who didn't tune out AFOS when the music would briefly stop for a half-hour or an hour of people talking got the chance to relive that pre-CGI era of the franchise when they heard the three Star Wars radio series on AFOS' schedule in 2004.
I briefly tried experimenting with streaming radio dramas during the schedule to diversify the programming. Some listeners told me they liked hearing the Star Wars series, while others found them boring or simply turned off the station.
In 1981, KUSC-FM's Star Wars adaptation was so popular with NPR listeners that two years later, the same cast and crew reunited for a 10-episode adaptation of The Empire Strikes Back. Joining the Mark Hamill-led cast were John Lithgow as Yoda and Billy Dee Williams, who reprised his role as Lando Calrissian. A six-ep adaptation of Return of the Jedi from Highbridge Audio--sans Hamill and Williams--followed in 1996.
A Fistful of Soundtracks: The Series (2002-08)
I go into detail here and here about why I discontinued the format.
Lux Radio Theatre (2004) Reruns of Lux Radio briefly aired on AFOS in the series' original CBS radio time slot, Mondays at 9pm.
Can't get enough of your favorite movie? You probably catch it on cable every time it airs or perhaps you frequently play your DVD or Blu-ray copy of it. In the '30s, '40s and '50s, film lovers didn't have the luxuries of HBO, TCM, Netflix, the local revival house or that guy at the long line for The Return of the King who thought he was being helpful to everyone else by breaking into a dramatic one-man recap of the previous two Lord of the Rings movies but just made the entire line want to strangle him. Back in the day, if fans wanted to relive their favorite flick, their only options were to either pay to see it again and again in the theater or to save their nickels and catch the Lux Radio adaptation of it on Monday night.
Those of you who grew up with the TV serving as teacher, mother and secret lover probably know very little about the Peabody-winning Lux Radio, which was one of old-timey radio's most popular programs for most of its run from 1934 to 1955. Sponsored by Lux soap, this weekly one-hour series had studio-era Hollywood's biggest stars perform radio play versions of their own movies in front of a live theater audience, with an original score provided by a full orchestra. Everything from It Happened One Night to the George Pal version of The War of the Worlds got the Lux Radio treatment.
Lux Radio was the brainchild of execs from the J. Walter Thompson ad agency and its client Lever Brothers, the makers of Lux soap. The series didn't really take off until its third season, when it switched networks (from NBC's Blue Network to CBS) and moved from its original New York homebase to Hollywood, and J. Walter Thompson snagged Cecil B. DeMille to be Lux Radio's new host. During the nine seasons DeMille served as host, Lux Radio made the Hollywood director a radio star.
Does this series hold up well? Part of it does--it's interesting to hear these condensed screenplays performed in a live theater setting (you get to hear the audience laugh) and with many of the original stars reprising their roles. The parts of Lux Radio that don't hold up as well are the cheesy "interviews" with the stars that took place during the program's intermission and epilogue. They were obviously scripted, and you can sometimes hear the stars giggle in reaction to the atrocious fake banter that the scriptwriters supplied them with. That kind of cringeworthy banter has been kept alive by Dick Clark blooper specials in the '80s and '90s and by lame award shows today.
Though some find the series to be on the stilted side (read radio historian Elizabeth McLeod's critique "Lux Misrepresents Hollywood? Or, Why Radio Movie Adaptations Aren't Such a Good Idea"), Lux Radio is an intriguing audio snapshot of studio-era Hollywood.
Morning Becomes Dyspeptic (2004-08)
Each 15-to-20-minute ep of this series collected clips from stand-up comedy albums.
From a 2006 jim.aquino.com synopsis of the series:
Sick of unfunny morning zoo crew humor? As an alternative, the Fistful of Soundtracks channel presents Morning Becomes Dyspeptic, an uncensored 15-minute series featuring the sharpest and angriest stand-up comedy to ever hit the stage. Hear clips of comics like Patton Oswalt, Chris Rock, Lewis Black, George Carlin and Richard Pryor.The Retro Lunch Show (2004-06)
After a nine-month hiatus, Morning Becomes Dyspeptic returns to its 8am time slot on the Fistful channel schedule on Monday, October 9 with a new announcer and new episodes featuring clips from the latest stand-up CDs (Russell Peters's Outsourced, Brian Posehn's Nerd Rage), the usual suspects (Feelin' Kinda Patton, an old Morning Becomes Dyspeptic favorite) and classics that have never been played before on the program (Rodney Dangerfield's No Respect).
Morning Becomes Dyspeptic will also now air at 1am (9am for British listeners).
If morning shows were like breakfast meals, The Today Show would be Corn Flakes, CNN's American Morning would be an Egg McMuffin and The Howard Stern Show would be a big honkin', gas-causin' breakfast burrito. As for Morning Becomes Dyspeptic... it's like that bottle of brandy you dump into your bowl of cereal.
Eric Potts hosted this syndicated '80s oldies series.
Return of the Jedi (2004)Recorded in 1996, the last of the three Star Wars radio adaptations replaced an unavailable Hamill with Joshua Farnon and an apparently busy Billy Dee with Arye Gross. Huh? The Jewiest of then-thirtysomething Jewish actors playing the blackest of black sci-fi heroes? That's like if Woody Allen played Shaft. Whoever picked Gross was clearly on crack that day.
Sexual Chocolate (2004-06)
I hosted this hour-long series about existing songs from movies and shows, which I named after the washed-up R&B band in Coming to America. In 2006, I ditched the hour-long format and relaunched Sexual Chocolate as the "The F Zone." Listener Ben Erwin told me he missed the Sexual Chocolate title, and I explained to him that I ditched it not because I received any complaints about it but because I grew tired of it:
Sexual Chocolate is a name better suited for a hooker or a washed-up R&B band, not a radio station block...Soda and Pie (2003)
Actually, nobody gave me any negative feedback about the title Sexual Chocolate, which was my homage to Coming to America. I just grew to dislike it as a title for a block of pop songs. Plus, everyone and their mother has used Sexual Chocolate to name something (like their trivia contest team or speedboat--Dennis Rodman calls his boat Sexual Chocolate).
I also hosted this five-part series about alt-rock, R&B and rap from the '80s. In 2005, I resurrected the Soda and Pie title--a reference to a line from the Beastie Boys' "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)" video--for the weekend block of '80s film music. Ep titles from this series included "Do You Like Parties?," "Dogs and Cats Living Together" and "I Want My Two Dollars!"
Star Wars (2004)
Produced by KUSC, the station at George Lucas' alma mater USC, this 13-ep adaptation of the 1977 blockbuster first aired on NPR in 1981. Lucas sold the radio rights to KUSC for the earth-shattering sum of one dollar.
Only two actors from the original cast--Hamill and Anthony "C3PO" Daniels--reprised their roles. Perry King (Riptide, The Day After Tomorrow) provided the voice of Han Solo, and Brock Peters, best known for To Kill a Mockingbird and the Star Trek films, voiced Darth Vader. The eps were scored with the original cues from John Williams' score. The late sci-fi author Brian Daley took on the painstaking task of adapting Lucas' screenplay for radio, expanding a two-hour story into nearly five hours' worth of episodes. He added scenes of dialogue and character development that weren't in the film, giving Star Wars fans further glimpses into Luke's life on Tatooine and Princess Leia's efforts to protect Alderaan from the Empire.
Daley also often inserted into the scripts the cheesiest kind of radio drama dialogue, in which characters would unconvincingly describe at length the action they were seeing (Luke: "You took your light saber and cut off my arm! Owwww! And now both my arm and saber are falling down the shaft!"). It's funny that the Star Wars radio series employed an announcer, and Daley never thought of using him to describe the action instead of having the characters do it in such an unintentionally funny way. Radio Luke, Radio Han and Radio Leia sound like those literal versions of old music videos on YouTube that always crack me up.
The casts of the radio versions of the first three Star Wars flicks featured several actors who were unknowns when they recorded their bit parts: David Alan Grier, David Paymer, Adam Arkin, Sam McMurray, Meshach Taylor, David "Sledge Hammer" Rasche, Ian Gomez and his wife Nia Vardalos. The man who directed all three productions was John Madden--not the ex-Oakland Raiders coach/Monday Night Football commentator, but the British theater, TV and movie director who helmed Shakespeare in Love.
The same year the Return of the Jedi radio series hit the airwaves, Lucas notoriously went all Nip/Tuck-y on the first three Star Wars movies. Here's hoping he never lays a finger on the radio dramas.
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
June Park of "Sampler" delivers a birthday greeting to my older brother
In a foul-mouthed birthday card I made for my older brother last month, June Park, the heroine of my Secret Identities: The Asian American Superhero Anthology story "Sampler," gets to spout dialogue she wasn't allowed to say in the all-ages graphic novel.
Here are four things to be aware of as you're reading "Gi Power" because you may not know the subject of "Gi Power" all that well: 1) he's a Star Wars fan (his love for the SW flicks, which actually has never veered into cosplay, was slightly exaggerated for the purposes of this mini-comic), 2) he took a judo class when he was younger, 3) he likes to play volleyball, and 4) he puts more gel in his hair than Brian Grazer and the fauxhawked contestants on Top Chef combined.
Here are four things to be aware of as you're reading "Gi Power" because you may not know the subject of "Gi Power" all that well: 1) he's a Star Wars fan (his love for the SW flicks, which actually has never veered into cosplay, was slightly exaggerated for the purposes of this mini-comic), 2) he took a judo class when he was younger, 3) he likes to play volleyball, and 4) he puts more gel in his hair than Brian Grazer and the fauxhawked contestants on Top Chef combined.
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